


equilibrium > dissonance

by awkwardedgeworth



Series: gravity holds us down [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, akaashi with synesthesia, asexual akaashi, but then he meets bokuto and boom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-16
Updated: 2015-01-16
Packaged: 2018-03-07 20:28:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3182081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardedgeworth/pseuds/awkwardedgeworth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mornings are hard and he wonders why he signed up for 8 AM classes when his next class is at 1 in the afternoon. He comes one day prepared with an extra large cup of coffee and a can of Red Bull purchased for the sake of his sanity and grades. He has a new neighbor, one with white hair and black streaks in his hair.</p><p>"I'm going to die." Akaashi mumbles, before downing the whole cup.</p><p>And he swears he hears a choked sound from his neighbor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	equilibrium > dissonance

**Author's Note:**

> i love akaashi. like. you don't understand how much i love him and bokuto. the feels are real.

 

 

With his headphones in, there's nothing that can disturb the fragile peace in his mind. Nothing enters without his permission. No loud honking or colors streaming out of people's mouths or screams and yells. Everything is quiet in his head. Everything is at equilibrium.

 

He opens his eyes and looks down at the vast twinkling city of neon that's Tokyo.

 

He's home.

 

 

 

 

 

He enrolls in Tokyo University, renting out a single room in the Chiyoda ward that's fairly close to Tokyo Station and the University. Akaashi Keiji receives his welcome package and nearly thanks the administration in English, before mumbling a hasty  _arigatou_  before walking out of the building and into the rain. He looks up, brow furrowing at the rain falling and the moment the city turns from neons to monochrome of greys and blacks.

 

It'll be a long two years.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He'd always loved fiddling with parts. Spare parts, metal, aluminum wires, nuts, and bolts. His professor looks impressed at the little robot diagram he'd managed to sketch after a hard won battle with his pencil that refuses to project out how exactly he wants the robot to look. The money in his account is starting to deplete, so he gets a job at the cafe and perfects the art of milk foam and works with hissing, loud machines that gives him headaches. He's thankful that he doesn't work at the till.

 

Mornings are hard and he wonders why he signed up for 8 AM classes when his next class is at 1 in the afternoon. He comes one day prepared with an extra large cup of coffee and a can of Red Bull purchased for the sake of his sanity and grades. He has a new neighbor, one with white hair and black streaks in his hair.

 

"I'm going to die." Akaashi mumbles, before downing the whole cup.

 

And he swears he hears a choked sound from his neighbor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He blasts through physics and engineering with a side of English literature each day, headphones in and listening to bands from an ice cold land. To pass time, Akaashi volunteers to give international students tours. It's a little comforting to be able to speak his former tongue fluently after so many months of conjugating Japanese verbs in his head to re-remember.

 

He walks into class one day later than normal thanks to a very late night session of studying English with Sawamura-san, and quietly walks up to the strange man with black and white hair.

 

"May I sit here?"

 

"S-Sure!" Akaashi properly looks into him and is surprised by the intensity of his amber eyes. There's a little white smudge at the corner of Bokuto Koutarou's chin, which he assumes is toothpaste. He holds the gaze, before putting on his headphones to block the yellow orange dancing out of his seat mate's mouth. "Mornin' Akaashi! No Red Bull today?"

 

"I got some sleep last night, Bokuto-san." His cheeks goes up as his eyes flits over the white patch of toothpaste, and he decides that it would be okay to lower his headphones for this person.

 

 

 

 

_erm_

 

_What is it, Bokuto-san?_

 

Bokuto bites his lip, scribbling,  _can you help me tomorrow for the test?_  The note is completed by a cute owl with over sized eyes and a huge beak.

 

Akaashi has no clue how this stranger can make him smile so much.  _Okay. 3 PM at the library?_

Bokuto eagerly nods before the professors calls on him to solve a hard set of questions, and Akaashi sees him pout, before shuffling across the white board and letting out a small mumble that makes the whole class laughs.

 

"...Please go back and revise this chapter. Bokuto-kun."

 

"Yes, sir."

 

 

 

 

 

Akaashi is reading a novel in English, which gives his brain a break from all of these Japanese and allows him to relax some what as Bokuto whines about Calculus. Akaashi likes numbers. He can be in a completely different country but math is universal. He seeks equilibrium as his life is tossed into chaos and the unknown. Bokuto is the unknown. He's impossible to predict and comes into his life in a whirl of yellows and oranges and a tornado of feelings that reaches deep into Akaashi and nearly knocks him away from his ground.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Akaashi!."

 

Akaashi blinks as he turns, bracing himself for Bokuto's bright eyes and ear splitting grin as Tokyo Tower stand tall and important a block away from them, golden light illuminating the city. "Hey, hey! What are you doing here?"

 

"Giving the international kids a tour." One of the English girls asks him a brief question, to which he answers dully as he watches Bokuto frown.

 

"Are you wandering around, Bokuto-san?" His sharp eye catches the yellow knitted scarf with a small owl on the corner of it. 

 

"Something like that. My mom and sister visited me and I just sent them home after dinner. I don't want to do homework- it's Friday!"

 

The corner of Akaashi's mouth goes up. "Indeed." The gold flowing out of Bokuto's mouth gently mixes with the puffs of their words in the cold November.

 

"You give student orientation tours, huh?"

 

"Volunteer. I have a job at the cafe in campus. They were short of people who can speak fluent English." 

 

"That didn't sound like English to me."

 

"They're from London. Their English is accented."

 

"How long do you have to shepherd them?" Bokuto asks, cocking his head adorably like the picture of Azumane-san's new puppy. Akaashi suddenly receives a sudden punch in the gut he doesn't like, but at the same time embraces because it makes his cheeks warm.

 

He doesn't know what this feeling is, but it's different from the greys and reds of his world. "I'm done. Do you want to walk back together, Bokuto-san?"

 

 

 

 

 

"HEY HEY HEY AKAASHI!" Bokuto races to his desk in Calculus, dropping his textbooks on Akaashi's toes. "REMEMBER THE PEOPLE I TOLD YOU ABOUT WHO I PLAY VOLLEYBALL WITH? DO YOU WANT TO MEET THEM? TONIGHT? YOU'RE FREE RIGHT?"

 

"Um-"

 

"PLEASE! OIKAWA IS OFF ON A DATE WITH IWAIZUMI AND WE NEED A SETTER!" Bokuto Koutarou turns on the full force of his puppy dog eyes and Akaashi internally groans as he dances around, chanting  _please Akaashi, pretty, pretty pleaseeeeee?_

"Yes- on the condition that you respect my personal space-"

 

"YOU'RE THE BEST!"

 

 

 

 

 

Akaashi flexes his fingers awkwardly as he ties his shoelaces, reuniting with his old, worn knee pads and the texture of sweat proof t shirt he used to wear when his body was skinnier and shorter. Bokuto is running around the court, smiling and greeting everyone with an enthusiastic  _HEY HEY HEY THIS IS MY NEW FRIEND AKAASHI SAY HI TO HIM_  that makes Akaashi want to hide in the corner. 

 

Mostly, he sticks beside Sawamura from English lit and Kageyama, the latter intensely asking him how he practices, how much weight does he lift and which protein shakes he drinks. Akaashi answers him quietly with,  _never, I don't go to the gym and I only drink coffee and tea._

 

He's out of shape, reflexes not moving to quite to their potential, but he makes it up by the accurate tosses towards Bokuto and a short middle blocker called Hinata Shouyou. There's nothing but fireworks in his ears, excited greens, soothing blues, neon orange, mellow indigo and always, bright yellow.

 

"Bokuto-san!" He passes the ball to him.

  
Bokuto jumps up, clearing the net easily with the power of his quads and slams his hands down a tall middle blocker with a grin that resembles a cat. Sawamura, from the other side of the net, groans as Bokuto lands on his feet, bouncing towards Akaashi.  " _AWWW_ YES! WHO'S THE BEST AT SPIKING? I AM!  This is fun. It's fun right? Man, where were you during high school?"

 

"I was suppose to go to Fukurodani-"

 

"NO WAY! WE COULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD!" The former ace of Fukurodani pouts and dejectedly sulks as Akaashi rolls his eyes, dragging him to his feet and pretending that he doesn't feel fire crawling up his veins from their momentarily clasped hands.

 

After a few hours, Akaashi stands a little ways away from everyone, catching a few precious moments of alone time before he feels something tug his sleeve. He turns. "Ah." The girl in the international tour.

 

"Hi, can I talk to you?"

 

A quick scan at the gym tells him that Bokuto is distracted. "Sure." He walks out into the cold December air and evades the mistletoe hanging from the gym doors. "What is it?"

 

"I like you." She says it straight.

 

"Thank you, but-"

 

She goes into his chest, arms constricting itself around his back as he hears the slightest thump and looks up into Bokuto's unguarded amber eyes, pupils blown wide before the girl jumps away, face red. Bokuto seems to snap back to Earth, because he's walking away backward  _fast_. "Sorry- sorry. I just wanted to give Akaashi his bag. Anyway, thanks for coming tonight, Akaashi. I'll see you when we get back from break- bye."

 

" _Wait!-_ "

 

 

 

 

 

He firmly tells the girl that he doesn't like her, and she leaves in a mess of tears and tissues as Akaashi numbly walks back towards his apartment, opening the door to the  _kotatsu_ in the middle of the living room floor and stack of letters from his mother and father. The shoes are unlaced, and he stumbles around the kitchen and brews himself a cup of tea before deflating onto the couch.

 

His sexuality has never been a problem to him. He's an ace. He doesn't feel affections- only looks at certain people and finds them aesthetically pleasing. Bokuto is like that- smooth hair gelled up, arched eyebrows, eyes pooling with mirth and sunshine. He's fragments of passion fused together by a smile that's brighter than the sun.

 

Then his heart twinges and Akaashi laughs quietly to himself.

 

He's fallen, and he's fallen hard.

 

 

 

 

 

_Click._

"Ah, Bokuto-san-"

 

"-uh hey, Akaashi. This is Sawamura. Bokuto caught the hay fever going around school. He's out cold, and I don't think he'll be able to attend classes anytime soon."

 

"Oh. Have you gotten a nurse to look at him?"

 

"Our neighbor is a medical student. He says as long as he gets sufficient rest he should be fine. Thank you for checking up on him." Akaashi hears mild swearing from the other end and a few bangs of pots and pans. "Kuroo- put your finger in cold water. Sorry. He burnt himself."

 

"...Actually..."

 

"...Yes?"

 

"Never mind. I'll tell him myself. Thank you, Sawamura."

 

"No problem."

 

 

 

 

Akaashi buries himself with going ahead in Calculus and takes two sets of notes. One set for him and the other for Bokuto-san when he comes back. He fidgets a lot more, and feels the draft from the air conditioner hitting his left side, and misses the notes passed between them. He goes home on most days, stumble into bed and tries to understand the fire smoldering in him.

 

Since he's a night owl, he goes out into town and walks around mindlessly, foregoing his scarf since the weather wasn't all that cold anymore. Fairy lights still hang from bare branches, all pretty as he wades through the concrete jungle. Reds, purples, blue greens, greys, browns mingling around him like smoke, trying to pry into him.

 

He walks into a park with the pond still frozen. A few pigeons clucked at him before flapping away. The park is deserted, all benches free for him to take except for one.

 

"Bokuto-san?"

 

The figure swivels and Akaashi sees his face for the first time in weeks. He looks horrible, nose red, eyes droopy and a scratchy voice, but his smile is like a candlelight flickering in a room. Timid. "Hey, Akaashi."

 

  
He sits in close proximity to Bokuto, who flinches when their knees bang together.  "...you weren't answering your phone. Sawamura-san told me you were sick." 

 

"I was. I just go the okay to go out and walk around." Bokuto coughs into his elbow. "Sorry for interrupting your conversation- but hey! Congratz and everything!"

 

"...Bokuto-san..."

 

"She's pretty cute I guess? I didn't get a good look at her."

 

Akaashi steels himself mentally. He's pretty sure Sawamura already knows. And that setter- Kageyama. He's sure that he already knows, just like how Akaashi knows that he likes Hinata. It's all very straight forward to him, which throws him off his feet because his new found revelation in life is anything but straight forward. "...Bokuto. I'm not straight."

 

"... _what?_ "

 

"I'm not straight. I rejected her. I don't like her." Akaashi prefers a hair of whites and blacks, a person with shards of the universe in them and who can make his heart beat irregularly, just like how he prefers numbers and diagrams and hard formulas. "I like you."

 

It's sort of comical how big Bokuto's eyes are bugging out, "W-Wh-How?! But-"

 

He decides he should just go for it, and kisses Bokuto on the mouth. 

 

Akaashi's pulse goes from somewhat normal to Hinata bouncing off the walls in .3 seconds. The fire inside rages and makes his face heats up, and he opens his eyes to see Bokuto's flushed face before pulling back, a sense of dread replacing the fire.

 

"Hey?" A smile. That's a good sign.

 

"Yes?"

 

"You wanna come over and help me catch up with all the Calculus I miss?"

 

Akaashi extends his hand to link Bokuto's callous fingers between his. He knows what victory feels like, of ginger tea and a feeling that he can do anything. Bokuto is a firework, and his yellow sparks are falling into Akaashi's world. "Of course, Bokuto."

 

 

 


End file.
